I’ve dreamt about this day for a few years now. The day the negotiations were over. The day the fight was over. When the dust settled and a fresh start was ahead. I didn’t realize it would come with a rainbow.
Everything isn’t completely over – technically the judge needs to approve it all and sign off on it and then we get a fancy little email with the “congrats, you’re officially divorced.” But today, today the last papers were signed, notarized, the deed was transferred and the settlement disbursed.
My day had been hectic. Packed with work projects and the struggle of a kid who didn’t want to go to school. I was stressed and exhausted, not expecting this to be added to this day. But here we were. My youngest was in tow with me which helped the awkward silences as we waited in the notaries office to get all 12 documents signed.
I hadn’t really let myself feel through all this, too preoccupied with the crazy of the day. We ended up having to find a second notary for the deed transfer, so in the car there I had a chance to breathe and think a bit. I had my Jesus music loud – honestly, I don’t even remember the song, but I was just trying to hold tight to Him and focused on Him instead of allowing my feelings to get the best of me.
I came up a hill about to turn into the notary’s parking lot and I looked up. And there in the clouds was a rainbow. Smack dab in front of me, shining so bright. Crazy enough, there hadn’t been a drop of rain in sight all day. Right then, I felt God saying, “I got you, girl, I keep my promises.” I felt like it was hung right there just for me.
There have been SO many promises I have held tight to through this journey and will continue to cling to. God has been so very faithful. He has been my rock, my comforter, my healer, my provider. He has been my strong and steady, even when I was angry or felt far from Him, He never left my side.
I know my journey isn’t over. Yes, maybe the paperwork and legal aspects of it all are over – but I know there will be continuous healing going on. I will still need to cling to my savior. I have learned that we as humans are built to feel lonely – we are only whole with God and when sin separated us from Him, we will always feel incomplete when we are not fully seeking Him. He is the only one that can fill that void. Knowing that and clinging to that has changed my perspective on so much.
|| Here are a few of the promises I have clung tightly to during this season of my life. What the rainbow reminded me of ||
Exodus 14:14 – “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” NIV
Isaiah 40:29 – “He gives strength to the faint and strengthens the powerless.” CSB
Isaiah 40:31 – “but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not become weary, they will talk and not faint.”
Joshua 1:5 – “No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. I will be with you, just as I was with Moses. I will not leave you or abandon you.”
Joshua 1:9 – “Haven’t I commanded you; be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Isaiah 41:10 – “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold onto you with my righteous right hand.”
** I basically could just enter the whole book of Isaiah into this list. There are so many verses I cling to from the book of Isaiah. I’ll have to put them all into a list for you, but right now I will just stick with a few of my favorites 🙂
James 1:5 – “Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God – who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly – and it will be given to him.”
Psalm 23:4 – “Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for you are with me; your rod and your staff – they comfort me.”
